Tainted Soul
by Zay-el
Summary: Everybody holds secrets...some are embarrassing, some are just annoying. Some of them though, can poison a life forever.


This story is not part of _Path To Divinity_, it's just a simple idea I had yesterday, which evolved into a short story. ;D

Disclaimer: All rights belong to Ubisoft, I'm just borrowing the characters for a little fun. 83

Read and review if you wish to! 8D

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The fall of midnight was silent as always, the twin moons lighting over the Dream Forest, but unable to penetrate through the dense leafage of the ancient trees that served as a home to many. Some would have considered it a curse to live in such perpetual darkness, but the lone shadow strolling through the night didn't mind it at all. 

Ly gazed at the ground before her feet, the cold emitting goosebumps all over her, pleading for the fairy to return home; to suppress the urge inside her just this once. Despite the cold striking right into her flesh, she just couldn't stop.

Dressed only in her usual yellow and purple attire, it was no actual wonder the chills found their way so easily under it. She rubbed her upper arms, her breath coming out in small, foggy puffs. Her pointy ears had nearly frozen stiff already, yet, she still couldn't compel herself to return.

Inside, she felt as though her insides were desperately trying to crawl out of her body, as if trying to run from something...or someone. _Why? Why did she do it? Why did she get out of her cozy little house, enduring the chill of the night? Why couldn't she keep strong...just for once?_

She could barely see where she was going, having already lost her way in the near perpetual darkness that sat around her. For a moment, she felt suffocated by the night, her mind screaming for her to find a source of light, before her sanity would shatter to a thousand pieces.

And yet she still kept going. She didn't identify the way precisely, but her heart guided her perfectly always, and she still went after it._What kept her moving? Why couldn't she just turn back and forget the whole ordeal, once and for all? Was she compelled to stay like this forever?_

The fairy already knew the answer to this. She thought she would had accepted her fate by now, but she still had doubts, fears...feelings that felt like they were burning a hole inside her; making place for the foul wind to reside inside her again.

She silently continued along her way, still hanging her head, still unable to look up. If she had, she could have seen the twin moons, shining ever so soothingly. But tonight, like so many nights before, she couldn't find peace by seeing them. More so, they seemed terrifying to her...like their light could pierce through her heart; make her fully visible to everyone.

She nearly felt their accusation, their disappointment over how much she had fallen. _Why? Why did it had to happen like this? I had so many choices I could have made, so many chances I could have taken...why did I had to end up like this?_

Ly followed her excursion, her heart getting heavier with each step. She felt her breathing quicken, but unable to decide whether this was from the cold, or the impending meeting. Setting her teeth, she went on, horrible thoughts squishing her insides.

She was terrified on how everyone would react, if they'd know about her little...trips. She figured they'd be bewildered, sad, angry, but most of all, disappointed that she became so distant to them. The fairy couldn't bear the thought of them knowing about her darkest, deepest secret, a secret she was wrong to keep. A secret that was wrong, even to exist at all.

Betilla...the mother-figure, whom she had always looked up to. _Oh, if you only knew...how many times have I tried to tell you...how many times was I moments from telling you the whole sinful secret I had. But I could never reveal it to you...each and every time, I just burst out in tears, and you embraced me; held me close to that golden heart of yours, purring sweet, soothing words into my ear._

_You wouldn't believe me...you'd think I'd had gone insane...and you may be right. No sane person would go through the same things I do, no matter the reward. Each and every time, I could just simply refuse, and vow never to even think about it again...and every time, I end up there again._

She felt nausea strike her for a moment, so powerful she had to hold onto a tree, forcing her insides to calm down. In earnest, she would have had all the right to release it here; to get rid of the taint that flowed through her; to release herself of the burden of her choice.

_How long will I be able to do this before they find out? They already know something is wrong with me..it's only a matter of time, before one of them decides to follow me one night, and then everyone will know about my sin...my affliction...my curse._

_Curse I say, and still, I love every moment of it. I'm free...under the wings of a much more ancient force than I am; alone, but not isolated. It's so powerful, wild, untamed...so much different from what I had ever known; from what they taught me..._

_I know well that it's wrong; that I shouldn't have ever even thought of it; that I should have stepped back while I could; but there's no return now. I wish I was controlled; possessed by some malicious force to have committed such acts; to blame it on some malevolent entity, that robbed me of my free will, and forced me to do things against my beliefs...but that'd be a lie._

_From the start, it has been my own free will, that became my downfall as well. How it happened, I do not know anymore. All I know, is that each time I go again, it only adds to the disgust I feel for myself; the feeling of being so impure, so wicked, so rotten, than I had gone this low._

Ly could feel faint tears running down her face. She was crying again...shedding tears she shouldn't have produced in the first place. She didn't deserve tears anymore. She was a living defilement of everyone's life, standing before them as one who was supposed to a figure of tenderness, purity, innocence...how far she was from all these now.

She knew that if they'll eventually find out, she wouldn't have a home anymore. There would be no place for her to sleep, to eat, to ever smile again; becoming the enemy of the entire world. Her loved ones, her friends...all would turn against her.

_Oh, dear Rayman! You are a friend to me like no one else; maybe even more than just a friend. When we gaze into each other's eyes, and I see the words in those orbs; the words you still think of how to say; the words that would turn my life into a pure hell._

_How could I ever face you again? Here I'd stand, shattering everything you had ever worked for...breaking my life's purpose as a fairy, and bringing chaos where there's order; pain where there's happiness; tension where there's peace. _

_I wish I could talk to you without the dripping acid that eats my heart each time you smile at me...that smile that used to bring warmth to my heart, now only fuels the work of the acid, charring me faster than I can think. Even when we play, I feel it in each of your movements; every small remark, every silent glance you throw me._

_Sweet Rayman...how I'd want to start it all over again...to make my choices better; to protest against myself when I should have. What could I say to you, if I'd have to explain myself? Giving promises, and act like it never happened? Those would be lies that'd shatter both of us even more than the truth...the only thing I could truly say, is goodbye._

She finally manage to suppress the quivers in her legs and continued, the sickness in her getting worse at every step. She could feel the foul wind touch her face, as if stroking her cheeks. She turned her head away, tears running down her face again. The fairy knew she was being toyed with...she knew it, and she still returned always.

_I should be the coward I truly am, and end all this. Face my mistake and make the only step that is left for me...but who am I trying to fool? I couldn't do it...I couldn't do it then, and I still can't do it. I'm unable to end it all, even with my whole self is pleading for it._

_I stood on the rock and gazed into the raging water below. The waterfall, that gives birth to so many wondrous beings...could it cleanse my sin, ad take me to a world where I don't have to suffer anymore? Is there any forgiveness for me at all?_

_I despise myself...I hate every single moment of my existence, since every movement, word, or act I commence, only delays the inevitable, and makes it even more painful to bear it. I feel the taint coursing through my veins...the presence that makes me sick inside. I've been defiled, and the worst thing is, that I wanted it to happen._

_Polokus, if you can hear my thoughts, answer me...have I become, what I had always feared to become? Have I strayed so far from your path that I am no longer worthy of my life as a fairy? Is there any redemption for me, it this world, or some divine other? Am I truly condemned now?_

The air turned more and more cold as she reached the spot where she had to come. The fairy rubbed her shoulders again, the nausea in her shifting strength constantly, her body feeling sick of what she was about to do.

"You were late. I was beginning to think you wouldn't show up at all." the cold voice slithered towards her like a snake, nothing of warmth there, only the absence of anything mortal.

He stepped out of the shadows; his own domain, where no one could reach him, but he could get to the hearts of everyone, striking them where it hurt most. The dark-blue cloak flowed after him, covering his entire body from any curious eyes. The large hat that served to cover his face, brought his visage into darkness, only the pair of devilish, insinuating, and still so enticing yellow eyes glinting in the night.

She didn't answer. She never had to. He could always feel her shame; feeding off it like a primal creature; only bent on squeezing the life out of its victims. This was his game; a game of humiliation and obedience she always had to participate in to get release.

He stepped up to her, his cold stare nearly burning a hole in the place of her jade orbs. He let his hand rest on her waist, the fairy shivering from the surprisingly cool touch. She never should have wanted this...it never felt right, but always so sinfully blissful.

"Is there something wrong?" he asked, his voice holding a highly fake concern, which Ly knew he only had there so she could feel that he didn't care at all, in reality.

She knew he only asked because he wanted her to feel even worse. He never cared, only she did. The fairy would had served to him as a constant source of amusement, and also a faint feeling of victory...since even though he was defeated, he was able to take something much more precious.

"Nothing..." she muttered in the end, knowing he wouldn't let her go by without an answer.

The creature of pure evil grinned and leaned towards her. She could feel his icy lips touch her own; the cold almost burning. She trembled in his arms, but he never did an attempt to help her stand. She had to keep herself strong, while his hands roamed all over her, bringing chills into every fiber of her being.

Ly knew already that she had lost yet another chance to back out of this madness. She didn't know how much more she could take of this, before she would collapse once and for all. Right now though, she couldn't care about the aftermath this would bring. This was a moment of bliss; driving all thoughts away as she whimpered from his touches, letting the darkness claim her once again.


End file.
